True obedience is never easy

Growing up in a cynical culture that was born out of revolution, reared in scandal, deceit, and distrust, and that prizes independence and individualism, obedience has never been one of my favorite virtues. I like it even less as a spiritual discipline.

I tend to admire those who oppose authority, not those who submit to it in obedience. Like most Americans, I identify with the underdog, the one who struggles against overwhelming odds and triumphs over the evil powers that threaten to undo him. “Give me liberty or give me death!” the saying goes. To my knowledge, other than Christ himself, I know of no one who meekly said, “Your will, not my will, be done.”

With this cultural baggage, the fourth step of St. John’s ladder is hard to read, harder to understand and harder still to put into practice.

In its simplest sense, to obey means to follow an instruction. Yet, this is not really what John of the Ladder means. To St. John, obedience is something quite different. He defines obedience as “absolute renunciation of our own life, clearly expressed in our bodily actions. Or, conversely, obedience is the mortification of the limbs while the mind remains alive.” It is, St. John goes on, “the tomb of the will and resurrection of humility.”

Obedience in this sense, is neither about following a rule or formula of instruction, nor about who or what you are obedient to, it is about learning to subject your own will in order to grow closer to the Kingdom of God. It is “the tomb of the will and the resurrection of humility.” The humility of Christ is the goal of our existence, obedience is the tool and means to obtain it. “From obedience is born humility and from humility comes dispassion.”

The truth of this is shown when John invites us to look at the devil as an example. The devil cannot act contrary to his own will, and in fact always and only seeks after his own will. Thus, to assert our own will is to follow the devil. Conversely, “if anyone surrenders himself to simplicity and voluntary innocence, then he no longer gives the devil either time or place to attack him.” This is where obedience brings us spiritual benefit.

This is also why obedience is so difficult. I do mot want to obey anyone but myself. I want to assert my own will. I do not want to accept abuse, mistreatment or injustice from any person, for any period of time or for any reason. I want to claim and hold on to my rights to be treated they way I want to be treated. I want to assert my will, my desire, my own way of living, acting and being. Because I want my own will I do not want to be obedient.

But, what St. John shows is that when I want my own will I am following the devil. The humility of Christ is not about our own will or claiming our rights and privileges. It is about surrendering all those things. According to St. John, the only way we can grow in humility is to first be obedient – obedient to family, to work, to the Church, to each other. This is the only way to obtain humility, which in turn leads to dispassion and allows us to move up one more step toward the kingdom of heaven.

Peace be with y’all